So the week of the 8th May is one I won’t forget in a hurry. Harley had his appointment with a paediatrician for his eating. Well, lack of it & the big weight loss he had. We had waited months for it. Which was ridiculous enough for a child that’s starving himself & when you try get him to eat he has a massive meltdown. It was also Amber’s operation date. I didn’t want to cancel either appointment so I asked Harleys dad to take him whilst we were at the hospital. I was dreading the day ahead. I had no idea how bad it was going to get.
That morning we had to be at the hospital for 8.30am. The boys had stayed at their dad’s because of the early start. I had told him to let me know how Harley had got on. His appointment was 9am. We got to hospital and was given our own room. Spoke to a Dr and sat around anxiously waiting for her to be called down. At 9.30ish she was called down, I nominated her daddy to go with her for anaesthetic. I wasn’t brave enough. I’d watched Harley be put under a few years before and it’s awful. Now it was a waiting game. Pacing the hospital room waiting to hear she was OK. That everything went fine. Time went SO slow. Around 11 I realised I’d still not heard anything about Harley. He should have definitely been done by then. I messaged his dad. Nothing. I messaged again. Still nothing. Amber was done by about 11.30am. We went down to see her in recovery. I heard her before I saw her. Those gut wrenching screams won’t leave me. The sight of her violently shaking won’t either. I just wanted to make her better. We got back up on the ward, she had medicine and went back to sleep. I got a call, Harley’s dad. Social services had took Harley. Wait, what?! Why?! What on earth had happened?! I then got a call from someone who worked within that system. Asking why Harley had a small 10p ,if that, sized bruise on his head. I told them the truth. He had bumped it whilst my husband lifted him off his bed (top bunk) because he was throwing one of his food related tantrums hitting himself off the wall and punching things. Harley had said ‘Dan did it’ but when asked further he told them the exact same events I had. Wasn’t good enough. The boys were to stay with their dad until it was investigated. I was heartbroken & confused. I knew nothing. I was told to wait for a further call…
Amber came round and was like a different child. Happy, like she hadn’t had surgery only a couple of hours beforehand. She amazed me. The nurses said it was normal. The anaethestic can make them groggy and she obviously just needed to sleep it off. I spoke to my husband and we decided I should be the one to go home instead of stay with her the night so I could get the boys sorted. So I went home. I got no phone call. I eventually managed to get hold of a contact number for the social worker involved. Many arguments and hours later. I messaged as it was late. Nothing. That morning I got a text. Saying she would call soon. I waited another few hours. Desperately missing the boys and not being able to go see amber until I sorted this was driving me insane. I was so frustrated. She gave me the basics. I went to see amber because I was getting sick of not being with her, they knew where I was if I was needed. I spent the next few days chasing her down, trying to get answers and updates. Their dad was telling me nothing either. My frustration turned to anger. Why was this happening?! Harley confirmed we hadn’t hurt him. Why couldn’t my boys come home?! I get they have a job to do but they could have absolutely managed it better.
Amber got home the day after surgery. She got a transport ambulance back because we had no transport because our car seat didn’t fit with her cast. She loved it! I was nervous. We pulled up outside and noticed Dan’s (husband) brand new Moped wasn’t there. Someone had stolen it. They say it comes in 3’s don’t they?! The next few days involved a lot of stress. I had to continuously chase up the social worker. I ended up phoning her boss. Who was amazing. She reassured me. Told me it had been a complete misunderstanding. Even a specialist had confirmed it when Harley was given an examination. I told her my worries. Told her how frustrated I was. She apologised. I still couldn’t have the boys home. Even though they had closed the case we still needed to wait for the police to talk to Dan. To hear his side. A whole week later. It was the first time anybody had spoken to him. The officer was lovely though, she knew there was no issue and apologised too. I was questioned why I hadn’t gone to visit the boys at their dad’s. That annoyed me. I wasn’t allowed to leave Dan with his own daughter until it was all completely ended but I couldn’t take Amber out the house because we were waiting on a specialised pram for her. Ridiculous. The police closed the case, which meant so could social services. The boys came home exactly a week later. Amber was so happy to see them. Me & Dan were so happy to see them. Life is now back to the absolute chaos it usually is. Social services are staying to support us with the boys lashing out. Im more than happy with that. You know what annoys me the most though? After all that, Harley never got the help he needed about his eating. We’ve just got a letter giving us another appointment with the same Dr that started all the drama for another 2.5 months away. About the same amount of time we waited for the original one. I find that disgusting. I find that they failed him. I’m less than enthusiastic to see that Dr again. Let’s just hope he gets the help and support needed. Amber is doing great too. Minus the sleeping. Nappy changes are much easier and we finally got a swing yesterday (check out instagram page!) so she can enjoy the sunshine!
Hardest, most emotional roller coaster of a week I’ve ever had. I’m ashamed social services were involved eventhough we did nothing wrong. It’s embarrassing and makes you feel like a terrible parent. Even if you aren’t. I’ve left a few details out, it would be way too long as quite frankly I’m not giving certain people the satisfaction of seeing how they behaved affected me. Now, just a countdown until cast off!